Families and ...
Parents want ideas about keeping peace in the family, and ask how to teach peace and other important family values to their children. The truth is, everyone knows the important things we need to do each day that teach values. We just need to do them. Keeping and teaching peace in the family, and communicating values is something that you do every day. Creating a non-threatening home environment allows individuals to talk about the things that are the most important to each person.
There has been research on protecting children from the impact of violence, about how to teach resistance to violence, and effects of direct and indirect violence on children. Researchers agree that healthy and well-adjusted children need homes that decrease the exposure and direct experience of violence. To have a peaceful family, the family has to believe in peace. To communicate and reinforce the values that parents and adults in the home think are important, it is critical to have a peaceful family with relationships that are respected.
Values are not taught to children by talking about them. Research on development confirms the integration of values through relationships, observation, and demonstration. Children learn to be nice by having someone be nice to them. They learn to be peaceful and non-violent by having other people demonstrate what it is to be peaceful. The home is the most important place for a child. It is within the home that the most important values are taught.
Knowing the values that a family cherishes helps increase harmony and peace among all family members. An essential part of family life is to reflect on what is valued in the family. Children are not confused when they understand and know what is most important, respect what is most importat, and feel respected.
Continually share important things with children. Use words to describe the significant things to the family: religion, beauty, cultural ideas, behavior, and attitudes. Share your family heritage with spoken words and writing. This helps carry ideas to another generation.
Families can create a non-threatening home environment by:
keeping communications open.
letting each person state his or her opinions openly, and making sure that everyone listens more than passing judgement. Listening encourages talking, and talking lets everyone know what is important and valued.
teaching kindness by being kind. We need to be firmer and kinder. Children need firm rule and guidance, stated clearly and with respect. It isn't necessary to yell the rules.
respecting relationships. This means respecting children as people. Children learn respect by demonstrations and observations.